Can’t Motivate Yourself To Date? Here’s How To Change That!

If we can all agree on one thing, it’s this: dating in the digital era can be exhausting. With so many choices and messages to reply to, it’s almost impossible to enjoy dating itself.

Are you feeling drained or defeated by the whole thing? You’re far from alone! ‘Dating fatigue’ is real and can come for all of us.

But you still deserve to find love. And although overcoming dating fatigue is easier said than done, we know you have what it takes to shift your outlook and enjoy dating again!

Here are a few ways to change your mindset and overcome the perils of dating fatigue.

How to Motivate Yourself To Date

Consider Why You’re Feeling Unmotivated

Dating fatigue looks different for everyone. To overcome yours, take some time to dig deep and identify where it’s stemming from.

Is it rejection? The time commitment? Repetition? Overwhelmed with choice?

Try recounting recent moments you’ve felt defeated to see what they have in common. Knowing the root cause can help you address it and move on!

Don’t Fixate on a Timeline

Between rom coms, pressure from family, and social media feeds filled with weddings, it’s easy to feel behind on love.

But here’s the thing: there’s no set timeline you must follow. Even if it doesn’t feel that way, everyone’s life path looks completely different.

Envisioning a ticking clock on your love life only adds to fatigue, so try to remove the rush, and enjoy each date as they come!

Work on Taking Things Less Personally

Even though dating is inherently personal, the way people treat you in early dating is almost never personal. Like you, the people you’re dating bring their own baggage, MO, and quirks on each date. They’re thinking about themselves during these early interactions, not you.

Of course, that doesn’t make ghosting or rejection sting any less. One trick recommended by psychologists is to practice a ‘rejection mantra.’

Repeat phrases to yourself like ‘My happiness is not dependent upon the approval of others’ and ‘People are attracted to me for the right reasons.’

Even if you don’t believe them, after enough repetition, you will!

Think of Dating as a Skill

Don’t let the charismatic extroverts of the world fool you – for most people, dating is far from easy.

That’s why it might help to recognize dating in the digital age as a skill, not an inherent instinct we’re all born with. It takes tact to navigate conversations, filter out the right people, and discover what you like.

Practice makes perfect, right? When you feel like you mess up, dust yourself off and move on to the next challenge.

Know Your Boundaries, But Remain Open to Surprises

If you’ve reached dating fatigue, you’ve probably been on the market for a while. You hopefully know your boundaries by now, but it’s also important not to let rigidity get in the way of having a good time.

What if your future partner doesn’t check any of the items on your list? ‘Life is full of surprises’ is a cliche for a reason. If you find yourself rejecting people due to fatigue, you might be missing out on someone special.

Honour your boundaries, but make room for exceptions.

Focus on Other Forms of Fulfilment

Ask anyone in a healthy long-term relationship – your partner should never be your sole source of joy. The same rule applies to looking for a partner. Dating, though time-consuming, can’t be the only thing on your plate.

By nurturing other hobbies, interests, and relationships, dating doesn’t carry as much pressure. And with less pressure, it’s easier to enjoy dating for what it is: fun!

Always Trust Your Gut

Over time, so many swipes, chats, and first dates can start to have a numbing effect. This can put you out of touch with your own emotions, which should always be at the forefront of your dating decision-making.

To reconnect with yourself in the dating process, check in more often on your gut feelings. By letting your instincts lead the way, you can replace dating fatigue with authentic excitement as you search for the one.

Verge is a video-based dating app that offers dating coaching and compatibility ratings! Download the app or follow us on Instagram for tips, tricks, insight, and more!

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